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A BLONDE & HER TWO COATS
While her husband was at work, a blonde decided to paint their living room. After her husband arrives home, he finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat while wearing a parka and a mink. He asked her what she was doing. She said, "I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb, and I wanted to do it by painting the living room. "He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but asked, "Why are you wearing two coats? She replied, "I read the directions
"i miss you like an idiot misses the point"
"if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely
-Roald Dahl"
"people who love to eat are always the best people"
"if you stumble, make it part of the dance"
"if you don't like where you are, move. you are not a tree"
"stop being afraid of what could go wrong. focus on what could go right"
"In French you don’t say “I miss you.” you say "Tu me manques," which means "you are missing from me." i love that"
"i love you like a fat kid loves cake."
"roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave."